Strong intuition synonymous to execution...

Certainly true in my case....:)

My experience says: More strong your intuition is, More chances are there for it to happen.

Take for instance, i was recommended for going abroad by my PM (as a fresher its not easy u see ;)) but somehow couldn't make it....i was happy for atleast i was recommended for the same

i had a strong intuition that i would soon b flying abroad and believe me, soon i was again recommended for a different project and this time i was not only recommended but was approved for the same...

so my VISA formalities commenced and i appeared for the interview and got B1 visa for a duration of 10yrs....

Got almost flunked in my first GD..

The title says it all.....

My gd/pi which was held last sunday in PESIT, B'lore was the first 1 out of my 3 calls for MBA.
Although i wasn't very well prepared for my GD/PI but the feeling of anxiety had started embracing me a week before the D-day.

I was a bit worried, not bcoz i was desperate enough to get into this B-School (KJSomaiya) and cud not afford to loose it ,but bcoz ,i m afraid of GDs that was a part of selection criteria..

Don't know how to put this, but yes i need to learn the art of public speaking...I am never able to perform to my full potential in GDs..don't know y but i feel that my unimpressive way of speaking is bcoz my mind lose synchronization with my body at that very instant wen i start speaking.....funny isn't it??? but unfortunately its true....

People say that if u want to learn the art of public speaking experience it as much as u can....but some1 is stopping me from experiencing it and u know wat its my same old apprehension

Is this seclusion...

I have always wondered, that for all the things happening to me, m i an exception or is this the case with everybody, m i the only 1 suffering or enjoying the moments or every1 is confronting with the same situations...

Say for instance, its now nearly 6 months for me that i m sitting wat is called "on bench" in the compny & simply (wat most of my colleagues console me by saying) mentoring people in their work..."Mentoring people"-huh...won't it be better for me to learn new things at this age wen i hav jus put my foot out of the college life into the business environment; instead of "Training" my colleagues on all those topics that i am already damn familiar with, for i had read them hundred of times....it seems to b a vicious cycle to me...

won't deny that training people has also helped me upto some extend but that was not the purpose i had joined the compny for...my sole purpose was to learn as many significant technical things that would help me in gaining an edge over others; but that alas, i don't think i m in any ways heading for....

So my point is, is this the situation with everybody in every compny or is it my compny, rather me only, who is confronting with such issues...

Stage Fright....

Its not that m a complete stage fright, i mean its not that i cannot speak a word in front of audience/jury but, i m no better..;(

Let me put it lyk this: i can easily go up to a stage or in front of any mob confidently and can even speak with so much eloquence that i can persuade anybody, but my so called "eloquent speech" is just a combination of words i had already mugged up. I can't even speak a word apart from wat i had byhearted. Say for instance, some1 turn interrogative while i m putting my points in front of people, from that very point of tym i start feeling panic and can't help myself turn into a dumbstruck.

My often falling short of words ,is, I feel, has nothing to do with my vocabulary or english pronunciation (u know m not that bad in that) bcoz i have seen people with so much enthusiasm and zeal to speak that english is never a constraint for them. They are so much involved in the discussion that u can easily make out that they would be suitably rewarded, admired and appreciated by the people no matter wat.

Yes i want to be lyk them; so that i won't fear anymore, not from expressing myself to others atleast.

Dilemma...why always me???

"Dilemma"..it feels lyk some1 is talking about me

Well from the time immemorial or shud i say, since the beginning of the dawn for me i had always been full of choices. Some may take it as, "what luck" but the truth is something different, whenever u have choices to make u become dumbfound as to which way to go and that as a result makes u indecisive as u always have to consult people for the same.
But if on the other hand u dnt have any extra choice u r atleast sure of ur move and don't require any consultancy.

Now discussing 1 of my ongoing dilemmas', as i mentioned in my prev blog that m working in FIS and also appeared for CAT this tym and even expecting calls from the same. Now here comes my dilemma; my company (FIS) has its base mostly onsite and they handle all the new projects from abroad itself. And now after working for long six months (mite b a short period for sme but not for me) i realized ther is certainly lot of possibility for me to go abroad if stay in the company for an year or 2.
"What to do now?" a very common qustion has sprang up in front of me again.

Shud i stay in the company and commit myself to work or go for my post graduation.
Shud i prepare for my GD/PI or let everything go the way it is going. Shud i again consult people or decide for myself. These qustions are again making be agonized.

If i want to discuss this with smbody than who's that somebody? Generally it's my bro who i feel is the apt person to consult but for how long; my dilemmas' are never ending. Sometimes i feel m i still not mature enough or grown up to keep my dilemmas to myself and become decisive.
I guess its me only who's responsible for my sufferings bcoz until and unless i take decisions by myself and don't take assistance from others, i won't feel that m grown enough, but i know i am and its time for me to show, to pretend that i m good enough in taking my own decisions.
I am the qustion and i m the answer

CAT 2008

It was my 2nd attempt for CAT. Yes i did appeared for CAT last tym also but failed to get thru any good B-School (limited seats u know). The only thing that bothered me last tym wen cat result was out was that i filled nearly 10-12 colleges under CAT and got call from none. For a minute i was dismayed wen i saw my result but u know u will always find people around u who can boost u up by scoring less than u. CAT 2007 was lyk a catastrophe to me.
The result for other colleges was also disclosed one by one and fortunately i got call from 2 symbiosis college. But being a fresher I was not even able to get thru these 2 avg colleges (u r free to call it an excuse bcoz it is :))

Finally I joined Fidelity Information Services, bangalore and decided to gain work ex and then do MBA; for it was the only option left. Then came CAT 2008, don't know y but my perseverance was lost and i didn't prepared much for the xam and gave it on the prescribed day. Was not expecting much after i left the center but after hearing the views of my frienz and people around me i turned optimistic (not very but yes i was now a bit hopeful).

CAT result was out and atleast i scored more than wat i did last yr :).Even unlike last yr i had not filled many colleges but this tym was expecting call from a college or two. And can u believe i have already got calls from 2 colleges and expecting a call from 1 more. But this tym i need to convert it at any cost for my excuse of fresher has already lost its validity...lol

PS: Its the state of mind that matters the most (as i didn't prepared much for CAT this tym i didn't felt ny tension while appearing for the same and hence scored well atleast from the last tym wen i was well prepared)

Nostalgia

Few days bak i watched "Taare Zameen Par" and was about to burst into tears if my friend wud not had been sitting besides me and somehow i controlled myself obviously due to fear of embarrassment (its in human nature u see) . But since then TZP has become my all tym favourite. The movie made me feel nostalgic of those old dayz wen i used to stay with my family at home. It was a gr8 feeling that had occured after such a long tym for i m away from my home since close to 5 yrs. Although i talk to my parents after every 2-3 dayz but that day i was really missing them.